Well-played, 2009. Giving me the opportunity to check off one of my resolutions and even throwing in some inspiration to motivate me to carry it out.

Thus, I have kept a New Year's resolution for what may be the first time ever: Tried standup in front of an actual audience -- in particular the audience at the monthly coffeehouse/open mic at the Unitarian Church in Exeter. (See: "Resolution Revolution, take one" down below there.)


Had dreamed of, but chickened out of, trying standup for like 15 years, and had been mulling over performing at that coffeehouse since fall, and after I had a burst of 3 a.m. inspiration Friday and spent two hours reviewing/editing stuff I'd already written, and writing additional stuff, I talked myself into ... well, into going to the coffeehouse, anyway.

Once there, I talked myself into signing up to perform. Then spent the evening arguing with myself about whether to go through with it. But since much of what I'd planned out was time-sensitive 'cause it pertained to current events (the economy and 2008), it had a now-or-never urgency.

Most of the other performers were doing mellow guitar music or poetry or spoken-word stuff, so I wasn't sure the audience would be in the proper mindset for comedy by the time I went on (I'd signed up for the last slot).

But it went much better than I anticipated, although granted it was a very supportive audience with the expectations bar set very low, not a bunch of potentially hostile drunks like at a comedy club.

So I wasn't up against a crowd that was gonna challenge me. Still, I had an opportunity to respond to someone who interrupted me (in a teasing way), and I got to practice picking a target out of the audience to interact with spontaneously, so there was some real-life experience. And the crowd (I didn't count, but maybe 35 or 40 people) laughed at the right times, and I saw a lot of nods as people related to what I was talking about (a lot of 50-year-old woman-type stuff). I did an OK job of maintaining audience eye contact, although I think I relied a little too heavily on my "portable TelePrompTer" (most everyone used cheat sheets, and I brought my laptop with my notes up with me as part prop, part crutch since there was no way I'd have it all memorized).

Afterward, several people, including some of the other performers, came up and complimented me. So I might give it a try again and see if I'm a flash in the pan or if there might actually be a path to an occasional local paying gig.

In any case, it was a badly needed confidence boost.

So, 2009. Guess the next move is mine.

- To put the fear behind me. Or at least someplace where I can't find it. Which should be easy, given the state of my living space. (See: Resolution about cleaning up this mess.)

- To make a successful DTV transition.

-(I'm purposely not putting in a resolution to lose weight. That's so cliche. Also, I'm totally NOT giving life the satisfaction.)

- To do my level best to get people to stop referring to millennial years as "Two thousand and (whatever)" and start using the "Twenty-(whatever)" format.

- To read more. Things I don't *have* to read, that is.

- To do more healthy things.

- To act as if.

Goodbye to all THAT.

2009, don't you push me. I'm warning you.

- To eat a lobster. Actually, I was considering doing that for New Year's Eve, and might have if I'd known Brown's was open. Although I prefer Markey's across the road. I thought they were both only open weekends this time of year. Anyway, hoping to treat myself at Markey's this weekend.

- To get my groove back. Now that I have rediscovered ... boys ... I gotta get me one of my own.

- To clean up this mess! Literally and metaphorically.

I hate hate HATE New Year's resolutions. In the past, I saw value in them -- putting an idea into your consciousness could help you manifest it -- but after too many unsuccessful attempts at visualizing my desires into reality, I'm going all humbug on its ass.

Nonetheless, I continue to hope (! -- a start) to climb out of the cesspool I have allowed my life to become, so, like Charlie Brown to Lucy's football, here's me running up for one more kick.

I resolve:
- To write more. I mean, for money. Sorry, I love all one or two of you who read the Braid, and it's fun to have a vanity outlet, but girl needs to get paid.

- Building on that previous one: To finish writing a piece longer than a newspaper article, and get it published. I'm aiming for a book -- either of the ones rattling around in my brain would be great -- but would settle for a short story or, hell, even a good-sized magazine article. And: To rediscover the joy that writing -- the writing process -- once brought me. And maybe use fewer dashes.

- To find a way out of this scary depression that involves me staying alive. The less said about that, the better.

- To muster the courage to try standup comedy. I mean, in front of an audience, not just in my head.