- To put the fear behind me. Or at least someplace where I can't find it. Which should be easy, given the state of my living space. (See: Resolution about cleaning up this mess.)

- To make a successful DTV transition.

-(I'm purposely not putting in a resolution to lose weight. That's so cliche. Also, I'm totally NOT giving life the satisfaction.)

- To do my level best to get people to stop referring to millennial years as "Two thousand and (whatever)" and start using the "Twenty-(whatever)" format.

- To read more. Things I don't *have* to read, that is.

- To do more healthy things.

- To act as if.

Goodbye to all THAT.

2009, don't you push me. I'm warning you.

- To eat a lobster. Actually, I was considering doing that for New Year's Eve, and might have if I'd known Brown's was open. Although I prefer Markey's across the road. I thought they were both only open weekends this time of year. Anyway, hoping to treat myself at Markey's this weekend.

- To get my groove back. Now that I have rediscovered ... boys ... I gotta get me one of my own.

- To clean up this mess! Literally and metaphorically.

I hate hate HATE New Year's resolutions. In the past, I saw value in them -- putting an idea into your consciousness could help you manifest it -- but after too many unsuccessful attempts at visualizing my desires into reality, I'm going all humbug on its ass.

Nonetheless, I continue to hope (! -- a start) to climb out of the cesspool I have allowed my life to become, so, like Charlie Brown to Lucy's football, here's me running up for one more kick.

I resolve:
- To write more. I mean, for money. Sorry, I love all one or two of you who read the Braid, and it's fun to have a vanity outlet, but girl needs to get paid.

- Building on that previous one: To finish writing a piece longer than a newspaper article, and get it published. I'm aiming for a book -- either of the ones rattling around in my brain would be great -- but would settle for a short story or, hell, even a good-sized magazine article. And: To rediscover the joy that writing -- the writing process -- once brought me. And maybe use fewer dashes.

- To find a way out of this scary depression that involves me staying alive. The less said about that, the better.

- To muster the courage to try standup comedy. I mean, in front of an audience, not just in my head.